Me

Phsychonaut - sailor of the mind/soul. Psychonautics refers to the methodology of voluntarily immersing one's self into an altered state to explore human experience and existence.

I realized the other day, that is what I am. I am trying to find myself, my reason for existence, heighten the experience of everyday life when I am getting high. So I am a psychonaut.

I was listening to a talk by a motivational speaker - TED series. Pretty good. A lot of what he was saying made a lot of sense but what touched me the most was when he said define life and its goals according to your idea..just make sure the idea is your own. Not anybody else's but your own.

I feel that disconnect. The things I want I am working toward but my motivation, my drive hasn't quite been my own. My idea of success is to be able to do everything that I put my mind to in the effort of being the best that I can be. But the goal setting is happening at a pace that is not my own. I constantly set expectations that I fully well know I am not going to be able to meet. But still, set them and then give myself a long lecture as to how I could have improved, what else I could have done, again fully well knowing these things are just theoretical in my life. And the cycle continues. Looking for a connect between me and my goals.

"HOney got a booty like Pow pow pow, honey got some boobies like wow wow wow"...these are the words of today's commercial music that I love listening and dancing to. I have identified with this culture of objectifying women. Not in a bad way. For example, I am attracted to successful, confident men. I also happen to think I am extremely hot when I have accomplished a goal, achieved something, am completely waxed, slim...on point.It's attractive. Tying that with my sexual appetite, I am totally hot if I let myself be. Do what I need to do.

Have confidence. Believe.Pace.

I am a psychonaut trying to define or invent my existence...make me the person I am...
discovery#1 attracted to extremes without fear of consequences - extremely hot